Making A Living: Where I Want My Life To Be

This blog is a deep and personal one. Even as I write these first few sentences, my eyes are tearing up at what I am about to express. I don't know if any of these things will ever come true, but just the optimistic thought of this makes me emotional. Now that I am growing into my adult years, I feel as if I'm finally in a position to make these things happen. A never-ending experience that I've wanted ever since I was a kid. And that's simply to just be an adult without dependence and to live life completely on my own terms. Nothing extravagant. I'm not gonna come out here and tell you that I'm coming up with a foolproof method for me to become rich, famous and successful beyond my wildest dreams. But at the same time, I don't want to continue living my current apathetic excuse of a life. I just want something at least in the middle of those two. On New Years Day for the last couple of years, I've definitely felt more of a hot-blooded desire to provide a much needed upgrade to my current socioeconomic status in the months ahead and once that change finally comes, to keep it that way. I need independence before I can do that.
     If you don't mind, I'd like to ask you to please take a look at the aesthetically pleasing Instagram photo below and the caption under it.

One word for #2016: Change

A photo posted by Summer Rae (@daniellemoinet) on Jan 1, 2016 at 1:56pm PST

The woman in this photo is Danielle Moinet, more commonly known as WWE Diva, Summer Rae. In my opinion, this is the FIRST meaningful Social Media post of 2016. It is also what inspired me to write this particular blog post. And that's because she 100% hit the nail on the head with that caption. If she or I or anyone had to define #2016 in one word, its Change. I really can't elaborate it any more than with just that one word. Instead I'll just describe where I desperately want my life to be on any given year.

But before I do that, I want to give you a picture of where my life has been for the last 22 years. I'm being raised in the Bronx, New York. To the outsider, the Bronx is the home of the New York Yankees, the New York Botanical Garden, and the New York Bronx Zoo. And sure, if it tickles your interest, visiting any of those 3 places would be a great choice. But to the Bronx resident, at least to this Bronx resident, living in this borough is like being trapped in a box and me trying to climb my way out of it in order to explore life outside of the inner-city. The person that has the majority authority over me is not someone I can look up to and say to myself "That's who I want to be when I grow up". She's spent the majority of her own life depending on the wealth of her superiors instead of being a contributing member of society and financially benefiting from it. At 22 years of age, I am unfortunately being sucked into that hole of a lifestyle and using every bit of strength I have to pull myself out. I'm being forced by this person to assume that as I grow older, the lower-working class life that I've had to deal with every single day of my existence, will be the life I never escape from. Even with a job, some friends to help me out, and a college education, I just "have" to get used to below poverty-line living. The people in my community aren't much influences either. Whenever I'm asked by these people "What grade I'm in" and I respond with "I'm in college", they look at me as if I'm Warren Buffet offering them some monetary wisdom of advice. And that's sad. To think just because I'm a College student, that I'm in some exclusive club that they aren't permitted in. I seriously have had enough and for my own mental sake, I NEED to give my final goodbyes to this low class experience. Humble beginnings but still, I gotta leave it behind.

1. Finances in Check
At the time of this writing, the Powerball jackpot is at $800 million and the odds of me winning a piece of that cash are 1 in 292 million. So you can rest assured that I will not depend on a lottery ticket/s to finance the next 30 years (at least) of my life. I'm a dude in his early 20's with a willingness to put employment over education. But I'm also someone with a résumé that could rival absolutely no one, because of the fact that the higher powers within my surroundings thought it was best for me to put full time education over any form of real world working experience. I've been manufactured to believe that an Associate's Degree is what's most necessary to fall back on for my entire lifespan. And after all that, those same higher powers have the impression that I'm a lazy person who feels like he doesn't have to seek employment any time soon. Here's the point that I want to get across. I. WANT. TO. WORK!  I want that burned out feeling of working a 9-5 for 4-6 days a week and coming home knowing that I've accomplished something. I want to earn an income and save finances and spend them on the essentials, and then have the means to spoil myself or someone close to me. I want to be an ADULT in the United States of America!!! I've been pointed in the wrong directions by so many people during my adolescent years. Society has to realize that the only single person that knows what's best for me and the necessities that I'd like to have on a daily basis, is me. I currently don't have a surefire strategy to becoming financially stable, but I know for a fact that I have the determination to capitalize on the first thing that comes my way. You have my word and that's a word you can count on.

2. Move out of Mom's house (apartment)
I'm a post-pubescent person. That means I've reached that self-conscious point in my life where I want to move out of my parent's house (or in my case, low rent apartment). The thing about this is that I don't mind living in the Bronx. Sure it has its noticeable blemishes, but there are far worse and higher crime rated cities than the Bronx, New York. The single best thing about moving out of your parent's place is not even the physical aspect of moving yourself and your belongings from one residence to another but the feeling that you've turned the page to the next chapter of your life. That's a feeling that people would kill to have and that's a feeling that I will scratch and claw my way in to receiving.

3. Enhancing my friendliness qualities

The power of positivity is real. Surround yourself with people who will only bring you up! More importantly,be that person for someone else!

— Summer Rae (@RealSummerWWE) March 3, 2016

When it comes to friendship, I've dealt with every stage of it that I could possibly think of. When I was very young, I was so dependent on friends. If one of my friends was absent from school, even for a day, I would feel like the loneliest person on the face of the planet. I needed friends to thrive in elementary school! Then came the 4th grade where I still depended on friends but an entirely new group of peers came into my life and I always kept my balance with them around. It wasn't until High School where I started to look at the idea of friendship in an entirely different way. I attended a Middle School/High School campus which meant that life long friendships were made before I even stepped foot in the classroom.... on the 1st day of school.... as a Freshman. It was in these 4 years that I became introduced to the "2-faced friend". The one that will force themselves to pal around with you because you share the same class/es but wouldn't personally want to commingle when it really matters, like at a non-school sanctioned social event. Friendship lost its importance to me within those 4 years and I had the intentions of living the rest of my natural life, as a loner. When I started to become this lone wolf, it felt as if an unbearable ton of weight fell off of my shoulders. I had no obligations to anyone and even being as dependent as I am living off of my parent's hand, I felt as free as a bird. Even after graduating High School, I've continued to play for my own 1 man team but felt a little bit different about it. In High School, I was a loner among people that I was familiar with. Post High School, I'm a loner within the rest of society and that just makes me feel like the lowest of the low. So I'm deciding to make another significant change in how I view friendship. If my life ends up where I want it to, making a friend or friends will become a top priority. In the end, I figure that if I'm comfortable with where I'm currently at mentally, then that would be such a good starting point for socialization. Its an ice breaker when meeting new people or that eventual special someone. But until that time comes, I'll be out and about, by myself with no one else.

4. See what this world has to offer
We've already established that I want to be financially stable, live outside of the home that my parent has provided for me these last 22 years, and to have a circle of like-minded acquaintances. When you put all of those things together, you obtain what's called a social outgoing life. 8,400 days I've been alive, and in all that time I have absolutely no idea what that feels like. To combine the social interactions with other people and actually going out to places with them? And then doing so without the verbal permission of your caretaker? That's an actual thing? Well if it is, I've never experienced it. Yet I've heard about it. I thought it was a myth but I stand corrected. It seems that there are activities such as a sporting event, a live concert, restaurants, clubs, etc that are just a couple of examples of where these social events occur. Even a daily trip to the local Starbucks to purchase a premium quality caffeinated beverage seems like an exhilarating activity to do on a daily basis. Maybe I could even use this blog to share those experiences with a viewing audience! What a fantasy!

5. Taking an adventurous chance

In terms of my future residence, I've made the choice that I do not wish to involve myself with the urban, ghetto society here in the Bronx. I've come to the realization of envisioning myself living in this borough as the years come and go, and it really disturbs me as I think about it. It's not the worst place you could ever choose to live in, but its also not one that I would recommend an outsider relocates to if you're looking to start a new life in New York City. So that brings up the question of where would I like to call my new home? Obviously the idea of moving out to the United States' most prominent & enviable west coast state (California) is very appealing. The New Yorker in me is to accustomed to the Empire State and Los Angeles doesn't seem half bad. At the end of the day, wherever in 'La La Land' I decide to familiarize myself with, I hope my presence there will provide me a chance to brighten someone's day on any given day.

6. Netting the Plus from the Apple Tree

There will be bills to pay. Groceries to always consider. A significant other and possibly a kid to support. Taxes (whatever that means). All the little expenses that when they come together, take up a lot of your hard earned money. After those are all paid for, we can only hope that there's a good chunk of it left over. No, I'm not talking about the money you save for emergencies. I'm referring to what's left over in my "Discretionary Income". A couple examples include a monthly subscription to Hulu Plus for $7.99, $15.00 for HBO Now and $9.99 for Apple Music or Spotify. Along with online paid services, there's also a little thing called Cable Television which you will never hear me speak out against. I mean sure, refusing to become a cord cutter can be a serious financial affair depending on your status. But ever since cable boxes went digital, for the most part they haven't proven to be a major failure for my television consumption. The point of all this is that I have a very strict and limited number of TV shows that I currently watch and for the sake of conversation, I definitely need to expand on that. Its not even an "if" or a "when", but an ASAP kind of thing. As someone who was born in the early 1990's, you don't even understand how badly I want to avoid the wide open mouths that people give me when I tell them after all this time, I have yet to watch this movie or that TV show.
I can say that I am currently hip to all of the latest top notch music videos thanks to the convenience of YouTube and owning a mobile device, if that counts.

7. Giving my overall psyche a makeover
Lets move on to emotions. Mentally, I just want to wake up every morning at least 4 days a week ready to do something that I'm really looking forward to doing for the course of the day. I want to go to sleep at night with the feeling that I've actually achieved something big or small and that I made a positive impact in someone's life today. Happiness is what I'm in dire desire of. Happiness as an adult in my opinion is that on a daily basis, you spend hours of that day doing something so self-gratifying that it doesn't even feel like work, and getting compensation for it! Currently in my life, I kinda feel the opposite. I wake up in the morning stressed over the fact that at 23 years of age, I haven't grasped on to life yet. I'm stressed out with the little activities that I do at home. I'm stressed out as I sit in a desk in a classroom in Nichols Hall at Bronx Community College just being the last person who wants to be there and the first one who's dying to leave. I'm stressed out between Friday afternoon and Sunday evening aka "the weekend", when I can't even find the emotion in me to trigger the interest to get off my butt and do something active outside of my own bedroom, let alone outside of my apartment building. There's just one huge wall blocking that one opportunity currently heading in my direction. Its been doing that for so long that I'm so tired of waiting and that's why I feel this way. I just don't know how people have done it. Its become so hard for me to even watch television or check up on my Social Media because every time I do, I see someone that has grabbed life by the horns and they're living it. They're really, really living it with very little to complain about. As far as I'm concerned at this present moment, the happiest moment of my life will be the very 1st day that my eyes truly open as a result of feeling that feeling for myself.

8. Giving my overall physique a makeover

At 6 foot 5, and 180 pounds soaking wet, I'm not where I want to be physically. That's mainly due to the fact that I haven't lifted a dumbbell in 5 years. I'd like to have a more muscular physique to the point where my arms and midsection show a bit of vascularity. I hear so much about supplements, cutting the carbs/processed foods, consuming more of the h2o and vegetables, getting on a high-intensity training regimen, and most importantly, hitting the gym and picking up those weights! I not only know that I have to do all of these things, but I really want to fall in love with that lifestyle. I want that list of things I need to do to get in shape, to be embedded in my mind and for it to just play out. With the living I strive to work for, this is something I feel is of a high importance to spend that $$$ on. I want to invest in myself in this sense as well as what I'll explain in the next topic.

9. Down payment on my internet aspirations
I've been producing and publishing amateur looking videos of myself on YouTube for the last 6 years. In those 6 years, I thought I found the secret ingredient and cracked the code to getting viral attention from my fellow online commuters. But, no luck. I can't complain about 6,700+ combined views across 29 videos though. But with the topic that I consistently bring up, I really expected more than that. It's not that there's a lack of interest in my content, there's just an audience of people in this video consuming world that is completely unaware of me. The majority of the stuff I've posted are videos of me advocating for Myspace in a way that if an audience eventually discovered this and shared it around the internet, would probably be of significance. The shaming that Myspace receives as a brand is a serious of an issue to me personally as anything you'll see on the news. But, I will never promote that issue in such a way because I fully understand that defending the Myspace name against critics is one of the least important things that society should care about. That being said, I've been doing so for half a decade, and I have no reason to give up on this mission even after being given every possible reason to do so. When you're struggling this long to get attention to your YouTube self, and you make an honest living, the best thing to do is to invest money in yourself using "Google AdWords" for video. With the right budget, I can basically advertise myself as an aspiring entertainer, and promote my principles to people that I know will have the 1st reaction of "Myspace? I gotta see this!" on their minds. Understand this, viral videos and viral awareness aren't as easy as its made out to be. Especially when you have no connections with people that have connections to connections. I've been patiently and anxiously waiting for my break. Its an inevitable bound to happen circumstance. And I know in my heart of hearts that I've got that hook to grab people's interest with what I have and will continue to put out, year after year. http://www.youtube.com/mrfreshlemania

10. The urge to give back
Something that I attempt to think about every single day of the week are those who are less fortunate than I am both monetarily and physically. I obviously want to have an outgoing and responsible life of my own with the salary I plan on earning, but the sentimental part of me would feel greedy if a portion of that money wasn't going to a good cause on a monthly basis. Charity. When you give to charity, you're basically giving an organization and the clients they serve, a reason to exist. Its the "Come To Jesus" meeting that I, as well as the 7.3 billion+ of the rest of us, want out of the present day. Even before the destined day when I become financially independent, I've already made sure to follow up on my heart's intentions to provide that monetary reason to these charitable organizations whose names and donation pages are all individually hyperlinked below if you'd like to contribute as well:

- Dean Thomas Moinet Foundation
"Fill the spiritual, emotional & physical needs of families with medically fragile children being treated in local hospitals."
(UNC Children's Hospital and Duke Children's Hospital)

- Susan G. Komen
"A mission to save lives and end breast cancer forever by empowering others, ensuring quality care for all and energizing science to find the cures."

- Make-A-Wish Foundation
"Granting the wishes of children with life-threatening medical conditions to enrich the human experience with hope, strength and joy."

- Connor's Cure
"Supporting research by Ian F. Pollack, M.D., chief, Pediatric Neurosurgery in the Brain Care Institute at Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh, including laboratory-based research and a vaccine-based immunotherapy research."

and others in addition to that. I know my heart is in the right place in giving back to these important causes, but soon after my credit card has been charged and these foundations have officially received my money, the first thought that pops in my mind is "When am I going to be able to do this again?" And when I do donate again, will it match the last one, will it exceed it, or will it be less than? In my mind, I'd feel selfish if I lived this one and only life only for me, myself and I. Using my independence from my current state of dependence to provide a non-curfew, non-permissive, totally live by my own rules life for myself just sounds so wrong. I'm not only going to promise to continue to donate money (that I'd probably use otherwise to purchase something that I don't even need) to a foundation on a recurring basis, but with this fully functional body that my soul is occupying, it'll also be a goal of mine to devote time out of my day to repetitively lend a helping hand in volunteering as well.

My Plea To Be Forever Excused From All Mathematics Classes

Let's talk about Math. When I'm in Math Class, every single thing that is said to me by the teacher/professor (no matter who it is) will literally go in one ear and out the other. My brain consumes little to none of material that I'm supposed to retain in my mind. And don't give me that whole "You Should Apply For Tutoring" schtick because quite frankly, I've been through it all. I've had After-school tutoring, Saturday school tutoring, I've even taken tutoring classes as a filler class in High School. (For those of you who are unfamiliar, a "filler class" is basically a class the school just gives you which isn't worth any credit and it takes up the same period of time that an actual class would take. In college, its referred to as a remedial class). This isn't some self-fulfilling prophecy of me saying"I'm gonna fail Math" and then I eventually end up failing or getting a seriously low grade (a D or a 65) from the instructor. I WANT to master this subject! 'Arithmetic Mathematics' past the Elementary School level and into the Junior High School level is a language that I know deep down inside of me, I will never, ever comprehend. In this blog, if you choose to read it, specifically describes my 10 ½ year oral history of applying myself to Math class. Straight from the community college student that I currently am as I type this, on my never-ending conflict with Math starting from the 3rd Grade all the way up to High School's Senior Year. Even though it'll take me some time for me to gather these ancient memories, it's pretty hard for someone to forget something that's been haunting their ass consistently for over a decade. You'll also hear about a shameful event that happened to me in High School where a teacher sneakily and successfully corrupted my decent but not perfect GPA just because I didn't attend her non-mandatory Saturday school tutoring. This is just another day, in my life*.
(*Lyric from "Just Another Day" by John Cena and Tha Trademarc)

Kindergarten, 1st grade, and 2nd grade made Math seem like the easiest subject in the entire freakin world. Adding, Subtracting and coloring in Bar Graphs were literally all we did in those years. I seriously thought that this was how Math would always be as I got older. Then the 3rd grade happens and you get hit with Multiplication, Division, Word Problems, etc. Then the 4th and 5th grade shove fractions up your anus. Middle School introduces Pre-Algebra and then the shit hits the fan in High School where they teach you every mathematical situation under the sun. Ever since this 21 year old guy was 7 years old, Math has been a thorn in my imaginary paw. I've never felt more stupidly confused in my life than in the 3rd grade. I say that because in the years prior to that, I was a wizard of knowledge! I had as much efficiency in my schoolwork and homework between kindergarten and the 2nd grade as any of the smart kids in my class. And now I'm in classes where 90-95% of my fellow classmates actually understand the material while I'm the confused dumbass in the corner of the room. So for the 1st time ever, I enrolled in Afterschool.

3rd Grade: It was meh. Just one of those after-school programs where they'd let us play games and watch movies but if we got too wild and crazy, then they'd start tutoring us with Math and other subjects. So that was a total waste of time and tax dollars.

4th and 5th Grade: I applied to be in an actual after-school. 2 hours a day for 2 days a week. Tuesdays were for Math and Thursdays were for Science. The added bonus was that our own Math teacher was our tutor. So the dude didn't have to go through that name remembering process. When it came to the State Test in June, I sucked... but not enough to fail and be denied my Public School diploma! To this day, I remember them accidentally giving us the 5th grade state test while we were in the 4th grade and none of us students pointed it out (on purpose) until about 20 minutes in to the period. Then it took them another 10 minutes to replace them with the 4th grade exams.

6th Grade: Marked the first time my feet have ever entered inside of a school on a Saturday. One of the worst mental experiences ever. Goodbye to sleeping in on Saturday mornings or waking up early to watch Saturday morning cartoons. It was gone, all fucking gone because my genetics aren't descended from Albert Einstein and my mom signing me up for 3 hour Saturday school sessions. The teachers were people I'd never seen in my life, the lunch tasted like defrosted dog crap, and it overall just felt like you were being punished for committing a felony.
- I also remember that year, our math teacher (Ms. Abraham) giving us a lyric sheet of Usher's "Confessions" but she rearranged the lyrics to terms relating to PEMDAS (Parenthesis, Exponents, Multiplication, Division, Addition and Subtraction) aka the Order of Operations. I really wish I still had that lyric sheet because it was a legitimately catchy remix of a popular hit song. Ms. Abraham should have her own mixtape.

7th Grade: Platform Learning. As a part of then President George W. Bush's "No Child Left Behind" thing, our school was introduced with a new standard in the Afterschool initiative called "Platform Learning". It's basically a program that bribes kids into signing up for Afterschool by offering prizes for the amount of times you attended it every week. You got a certain number of points for every time you attended. At the end of the year, you'd receive the prize you wanted that equaled to the amount of points you had. Oh boy did I wish that were true. It was your standard small group Afterschool program where they lectured you in Math along with other subjects that I didn't need tutoring in but I had to attend because I needed those points. I wanted the iPod Classic that could only be awarded to the students with Perfect Attendance. So at the last session of the year, practically everyone in class, including me, were on the edge of our seats waiting to receive our iPods. And then we get the bad news (cue: Bad News Barrett - "I'm Afraid I've Got Some Bad News") that for some strange reason, the majority of the prizes in the catalog weren't shipped to the school. So as a regretful side prize, they gave every guy a Basketball (still inside the box), and every girl small Pink Boombox. I felt like giving those all Platform Learning fuckers a kick in the...

8th Grade: I had the incredibly lazy yet smart idea to just be involved in a small group Afterschool tutoring session ONCE A WEEK on the few weeks leading up to the State exam as opposed to an all year tutoring program. And for the first time since the 3rd grade, the teacher's lecturing stayed in my brain instead of passing through it. I ended up getting an increasingly higher score on that year's state exam compared to the 7th grade one. After that shining point in my educational life, I unfortunately made my unwanted return to sucking at anything relating to Math. And you can all thank the daily lectures filled with low-self esteem brought to me by Ms. Matos.

9th Grade: You know, I could write a whole separate blog about my past with Ms. Matos. It's a student-teacher experience that I've never had, never wanted, and thankfully never relived with any other teacher at the time of this writing. It's one you should be grateful to never have been through. If I need a reason to feel annoyed, I'll think of any moment I've had with her in 4 years of High School and there you go.
It's the first day of High School on my Freshman year. Math is the first class on my schedule. The class has started and the majority of students are in class learning at the time of my late arrival to Ms. Matos' Algebra class from H-E-Double Hockey Sticks. From day 1, DAY DAMN ONE, all she had to do was look in the exact center of my retina to know how completely hopelessly stupid I would be at this subject. The week before Thanksgiving of 2007 is when she started her Saturday school program. I've had my Saturday school experiences before but it was more of the culture shock of being in school on a Saturday morning that had me angry more than anything else. In this case, it was the solely just the instructor standing in the front of the classroom that pissed me the FUCK OFF. I really don't want to get in to specifics out of respect for her as a person, but if you know how RED I'm getting just writing this all this down, you'd know how hard it was to hold my insults. 2 months go by, I take the Algebra Regents, and I bomb as expected. So I'm re-admitted to her Saturday school program for the remainder of the year, I take the Regents again and I fail again. Keep this in mind, while all of this was going on, she was my everyday teacher aside from being my Saturday school tutor, and for some reason she never once gave me a failing grade during that entire year. She just kept on passing me with a 65 which is the lowest passing grade I could receive. I thought that she just had pity on me while all of this was going on but on the last day of school I figured out that she came to the realization that had she failed me in any quarter of the semester, I would've had to register for Summer School. On that day, I was notified by some of my peers that she was looking for me for that very reason. She aggressively started handing out Summer School slips left and right. How could she just force me into Summer School when she never failed me at any time between September and June? I remember it being a half day and as soon as my final class was over and I was the first motherfucker out of school just bolting home as fast as I could. I was so paranoid that she would just call my house and notify me or my mom from the phone but she didn't. I had a math-free Summer and I couldn't be happier. Too bad I can't say the same about Summer 2009 (tenth grade).

10th Grade: I swear I thought I was gonna be stuck with Matos as a Math teacher for all 4 years of High School. I remember that being my main fear going into the first day of school more than the general pressure of school itself. She was the "10 Month Itch" that I could never scratch off. You should've seen the sigh of relief on my face when I first looked at my program and discovered that I did not have Ms. Matos as a Math teacher. Hallelujah!!! I didn't even have Algebra which (should've) meant that even though I failed the Algebra Regents exam, I had no reason to study the subject again until Senior year. For this year I had Geometry with Mr. McMahon and Mr. Lewis. They were 2 of the most down to earth Math teachers I ever had. Even when I'd really bomb a quiz, McMahon was cool enough to add enough extra credit to give me a grade in the low 60's which I couldn't be more satisfied with because it meant I decently passed. Tutoring was offered by Lewis. He'd always mention that he's available after-school every day of the week and that he'd go over any of the problems we had. I was definitely a candidate for many of those tutoring sessions yet I didn't attend any of them. The 1 thing that separated Lewis and Matos is that Lewis didn't force anyone to do anything. He'd be delighted to even have one person attend after-school tutoring and even though he'd would sometimes tell us how frustrated he was if no one attended after McMahon would tell us that our overall grade point standing were low,  HE NEVER FORCED ANYONE FORCED ANYONE TO DO ANYTHING THAT THEY DIDN'T WANT TO DO! If I didn't go to after-school, I was never, ever reprimanded for it. I thought 10th grade would be a pretty chill school year. I thought that and I thought wrong. Matos with her "Bounty Hunter" sense caught me in the hallway after-school one day and without the slightest bit of hesitation, gave me a death stare, took her cellphone out, and told me to give her my phone number. It was to call my mom to ask her permission to attend her fucking Saturday school class for another semester. I must of done something fucked up in a previous life to not only have to deal with her bullshit again, but to be forced into a Saturday school class when #1 I wasn't taking the subject
and #2. I was not required to take the test that she was preparing us until SENIOR YEAR!!!
Do you understand how it feels to spend 4 and a half months of your life learning a subject that you wouldn't be told to take the Cumulative State Exam for another 2 years? The agony of waking up at 7 am to go to school on a Saturday morning to study for a test that would not apply to me for 2 years!! Looking back at it now, I should've attempted to report her to the proper authority. Possibly the NY Board of Ed because this was some really stupid fucking bullshit. But thank you goodness gracious, between January and June, I played hide and seek with that woman to ensure I wouldn't deal with her again. That year I ended up "passing" the Geometry exam with a 60. I guess there was some rule about the year I entered High School at that time and for the rest of my time in High School, a passing grade in a Regents exam would be a 55 or higher. So I was happy but also surprised that I earned a grade on a state Math test so high. I thought I'd have another smooth sailing Summer vacation. That was until I was smacked by the worst stench of bullshit, horseshit, dogshit and any other animal that is known for crapping handfuls of shit, in the 16 years of me being alive. On the last day of school, as I was headed out the building, I unfortunately ran into Matos who gave me another "Hallway Death Stare" and told me to go to the guidance counselors office to pick up my report card. Normally, my homeroom teacher would inform me to do this, so it was extra weird that this woman who hasn't been my legit teacher in a year is telling me to do this. So I head into the guidance counselor's office and as I'm being handed my report card, I'm being told that I failed Algebra. I look at my report card and I received a failing grade in (get this) Saturday School because I didn't attend it for the 2nd half of the year.

WHO FAILS A TUTORING SESSION? WHO IN THE FLYING FUCK FAILS A MOTHERFUCKING TUTORING CLASS THAT IS STATISTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO FUCKIN BE GRADED FOR? THE WHOLE REASON YOU'RE IN THAT CLASS IS SO THAT YOU DON'T FAIL THE ACTUAL CLASS AND ITS ACCOMPANYING STATE TEST.

I didn't even have to ask around to come to the conclusion that Matos with her evil death stare, forced my "guidance" counselor to put a pretend class on my report card for the sole reason of failing me (and possibly some other students) so we could attend her Summer School class. If the NYC Board of Ed is reading this, I'd be totally fine with opening up an investigation of an event that happened in 2009 because this woman needs to be stripped of her teaching license ASAP. The only saving grace through all of this is that she didn't teach the Summer School class I was involved in.

- On a side-note I just want to say that between September 2007 and June 2011, I had an enjoyable High School experience. The events I'm describing are true but they do not apply to my entire my High School in general or any of the staff members that I have not mentioned in this blog. I made friends, a lot of the teachers saw me as being an efficient student of theirs, and I didn't have any form of physical or verbal arguments with anyone. The one and only constant in those 4 years that made me legitimately want to transfer to any other school was Ms. Matos' breathing down my neck when the majority of those times she had no business doing so. She was the bully you wanted to avoid as an incoming Freshman but remained to be that same person for all those years. I've never felt so endlessly furious than the times where she'd come in contact me in any way, shape or form within that building. If Ms. Matos didn't teach at there, my High School psyche would've been unblemished and I'd probably appreciate Math just a little bit better.

11th Grade: Another grade and another year with the same obsessed Math teacher grabbing me by the Belt Loops and forcing me into her Math class. The bullshit that occured this semester is that she actually went to that same guidance counselor and had me taken out of 1st period US History tutoring and put into her 1st period Algebra tutoring (without even informing my US History teacher). So there goes another 4 months of my life to be involved in a class that once again does not 1. have a cumulative grade to give the students involved and 2. does not end in a cumulative Regents exam. January 2010 just happened to be the 1st time and only time in High School that I didn't take any cumulative Math exams. The actual graded Math class I had that year was something I never saw coming. It was some sort of intermediate Trigonometry type of class being taught by Ms. Maldonado (not related to me). I was familiar with Maldonado because she was my graphic calculator teacher during Freshman year. Being in this class felt so weird because my previous schools are used to putting me in lower regarded Math classes with a Collaborative Team Teaching requirement. This was an upper level Math class with one teacher. Even my own friends and former classmates who read my class schedule told me I was in the wrong class. But at the end of the day, I didn't give a fuck because even though I was in a class that I should've had no business in, I felt smarter than my former classmates and I tried my best to keep up with the pace of the class. I failed the first semester but passed the remaining ones with a 65. My saving grace that year is that the previous guidance counselor made her exit (for a reason I was never informed of), so our grade had a new guidance counselor named Ms. Headen and she didn't take shit from anyone! Student or Staff. Ms. Matos knew that and that's why after January, she (figuratively) was on the outside looking through the window and watching me deal with all of my High School matters without her interference. That included Summer School. I did have to go to Summer School that year but it wasn't because of Matos' intentions. My school just required me to take an online Math course called Plato Learning (now referred to as Edmentum) for a few weeks just to get my study on. I was actually OK with that and it turned out to be the least stressful Summer School experience of my life even though I still sucked at Math during and afterwards.

12th Grade: 12th grade literally continued the smooth sailing ride that was Summer School because of the fact that our Math teachers Mr. Lewis (again) and Mr. De la Cruz had us take that online Math course known as Plato for the first 4 months of school. I was Matos free for the opening 4 months of a school year for the 1st time in 4 years and I couldn't, just couldn't be more happier. No Matos and I had internet access during Math class. But as you've read for the last 3 years of High School, whenever something good happens, it doesn't last for long. In January 2011, I along with a few of my classmates were transferred from 5th period cumulative Math to 5th period Math Regents Prep with a teacher that you'd never expect to be your teacher. As a matter of fact, he was so knowledgeable about Math that he taught a separate Advanced Math class to a select number of Seniors. This person was also the principal of our entire School and his name is Mr. Morales. The guy definitely had the qualities of a strict Math teacher who didn't abuse the material to you. He taught us the ropes both as a class and individually. Something Matos obviously never learned in whatever school she got her teaching skills from. Plus he held his classes 4 days a week because he had his principal's meeting on Fridays which meant we had a 50 minute break to do whatever we wanted on that day every week. I do remember one instance where Matos used her tactics of Death Staring to put me in her Afterschool program and threatened to call my mom because she "still had her phone number on her phone". So my intimidated self entered in to her 2 hour after-school program... for 20 minutes. I manned up and snuck out of tutoring without getting caught and never entered back that whole year. No phone calls were made. I took the Regents exam for the last time and I can guess because of the fact that I have my High School diploma means that I passed it. For what shouldn't be the motivating reason to graduate High School, a motivating reason for me to graduate High School was that I wouldn't have to deal with Matos anymore in the educational field anymore. And as of this writing, I haven't.

I could write about Math at my current collegiate level but its totally different than the grade school system. Its an individual semester of your average Math for 4 months. There's not much of an experience I can discuss.

And that's that. The fact that I've written this large blog about my lackluster experiences in Math class since Fall 2001, should be more than enough of a reason to excuse me from any Math class that I would have to be on the roster of according to my curriculum. In this world there's people that suck at Math but with extra help in the form of tutoring, they can put enough effort on the big exam that they will eventually pass. And then there's me. I'm not skilled enough to be one of those people. It's not that I don't want to be skilled in Math because I desperately do so I can pass it and leave it in the past. But as you've just read, I've been to every Saturday school, Afterschool, and Tutoring session known to man with every tutor and teacher in the Bronx, NY. Every single time I've left their classroom, I've had a big question mark over my head. Having a question mark hovering over your head is just as bad as having a black cloud over your head but the difference being, that a black cloud = bad luck no matter what your intelligence level is and a question mark = you can go through 10 years of your life passing practically every class subject put in front of you but one. Throughout my life, I've been constantly told that it's very unusual for a student to be so proficient in English but to always be at the very bottom of your Math class. As if both subjects actually integrate with each other so much to the point where you can't be successful in schooling with one and not the other. I honestly feel that between Fall 2001 and Summer 2011, with an exception for Spring 2007, I benefited passing every one of those Math classes with the doubt coming from my teachers that I'd actually learned something. I know myself that I surely haven't. In short, I shouldn't be in anyone's Math class anymore because it'd be a complete waste of time for the professor who's being given the task of directing me to have a mastery of knowledge in any type of Math of the 3rd grade level and beyond. I just spent so much time recollecting memories on my experiences with Math that are more than a decade old. I seriously can't do that with any other subject.

To NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio, the City University of New York and any other university system that wants to acquire me into their campus, it's your call. My academic record, your school wide GPA, and possibly a minor or major perception of both parties (you & I) by an even higher authority that has the power to terminate jobs if need be, depend on me not being required to be lectured in Mathematics anymore within a higher educational campus, indefinitely. And to put it in even shorter terms, unless some Professor wants to tarnish their scholarly integrity by pitying me a grade of a D-, then I really don't belong in any Math class in which an academic credit is on the line. I don't know how to plea any more than that without getting down on my knees & physically begging.

My Very 1st "About Me" on Myspace (May 2007)

I was just 14 years old when I wrote this short little biography of myself on my Myspace profile. I'd say I'm quite the storyteller. Anyway, this is the 6 year old original unedited, unrevised version of my Myspace profile's About Me section along with it's original font, and text size. I eventually updated it and you can check out the newer and more descriptive version by clicking here.

 

Current mood:

Well, Here's my life story. I was born on a cold winter day at Harlem Hospital. I went to Preschool (and cried like a freakin baby all the time) at kennedy preschool.I then went to ps 23 from kindergarden to 2nd grade. I was like the smartest reader in my class. Then i decided to do comedy at 3rd grade in ps 20. I was the class clown (and still am). I then went to ps 59 (4th and 5th grade) and met my soon to be 4th to 8th grade Friend Aaron. I was the joker,he was the laugher. In 5th grade we actually won an award for being funny. I advanced to middle School at Middle School 45 where I learned slang, curses, girls and to always hang (chill) with the cool people to get respect. Currently i am still at that (horrible!!!) school (did i say i was an 8th grader at the time)till the 22nd of june 2007. Then I will go to Theodore Roosevelt H.S. (program: West Bronx Academy For The Future)

In Depth Description For "2 Years On YouTube and I'm Still Myspaceing It"

*This was a blog that I originally posted on "Myspace.com/Mr.FreshleMania/blog" on December 25th, 2012. On June 12, 2013, the big wigs at Myspace headquarters decided to do the unthinkable and shut down the Classic Myspace website for good. With the exception of my pictures from my photo albums, ALL of my content from the Classic Myspace that I've been posting for 6 straight years is currently non-accessible. Luckily, Google web-cached my Myspace blog, so I can just copy and paste it from there to here (with some revised changes). I hope that one day or in a course of days, a huge group of people can put their time and criticisms aside and tell no, DEMAND that the guys in charge of Myspace resurrect the Classic Myspace! Petitions, Rallys, Pickets, whatever you have to do. I've already done my part by posting videos, I hope you stand by my side and do yours. Now here's my blog.*
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I have done my best to come up with a list of questions or concerns that you might have while/after watching the video titled "2 Years On YouTube and I'm Still Myspaceing It". Here It Is.

Why did you upload it on December 25th when your 2 Year Anniversary on YouTube is on November 19th?
I was originally going to upload it on November 19th, 2012 but I felt sick during that week. Of course, it wasn't serious to the point that I wouldn't be able to upload it. The thing is, is that if this video were to get viral (fingers crossed), I don't want to be feeling sick while its happening. I wanted to upload it before 2012 was over, so I had 3 dates in mind. December 19th (an exact month after), December 25th (Chirstmas) or December 31st (New Years Eve). Dec. 19 wasn't a special enough day and December 31st is too close to 2013, so Chirstmas day was an obvious choice.

What I Hope To Get Out Of This Video
Well other than earning fame for myself from the amount of views that this vid hopefully gets, the thing I hope to get out of this video the most is, that I want every single eye that watches it to make themselves active on Myspace.com and see Myspace in a more postive way. Not just because of the launch of "New Myspace" (commercials and all), but as the name brand that it is. I don't want you to think of the word Myspace and instantly become a negative critic. I'm just an everyday Myspacer wanting other people to become proud Myspacers as well.

What's A Zuckerberg Zombie?
A Zuckerberg Zombie is someone who I define as being brainwashed into feeling a sense of achievement for joining Billionaire Mark's creation (Facebook) after stating the fact that you abandoned Myspace for it.

Examples: A Zuckerberg Zombie would say: "Myspace is dead and Facebook is where the party is at"
or
"If you're gonna upload pictures/post a status/do that, here on Facebook, then leave and go back to Myspace!"

I believe (figuratively, not literally of course) that Facebook's massive popularity and marketing, has put you in a trance and programmed your brain to make you think that way. Sorry Mark, but my willpower is stronger than that. :)

Have I really never been on Facebook?
Well I didn't mention it in the video... but I actually have used an account on Facebook between January 2011 - July 2011. I synced it with my Myspace for iPhone application and the majority of my status messages came from there, so all my friends would know that I was "Still Myspaceing It". I only uploaded a maximum of 4 pictures because I didn't want make myself too active on it. The whole reason I joined was to interact with my High School friends online in the months leading to Graduation and then I abandoned my Facebook account shortly after that.

My feelings on Myspace's different looks throughout the years and how I was able to adjust to them.
I joined Myspace in May of 2007 (sometime on the week of May 20th). Before that, I didn't think much of Myspace while having a Bebo account in the early part of 2007. Once I joined Myspace, I was so in love with it, that I forgot all about Bebo (kinda like how people on Facebook now react to Myspace). In 2008, Myspace had an additional, optional user homepage to view your Stream and other stuff. Later on, they forced us all to use that homepage and I accepted it in a short time because of its quick navigation features. Then in 2010, Myspace went through a major change. Its color scheme went from Blue and White to Black and White and implemented another user homepage. I adjusted to it because it had more of a focus on the status message which is one of my most used features of Myspace. Another new Homepage was presented in 2011 which focused a bit more on music. I have made it crystal clear throughout the past few years that I am not on Myspace exclusively for music interests but mostly for person to person interaction with people I know. That (Classic Myspace) user homepage is no longer around today and I am totally upset with that unannounced and unwanted decision. And of course, if you've made an account on the New Myspace, it is yours to judge all you want (hopefully its good and constructive judgment). The major gripe I have with the presentation of Myspace overall, is the Black and White color scheme not only on its logo but the entire website. I prefer the Blue and White from years back, but if it goes back to the Blue and White color scheme, It'll probably get a bunch of "MYSPACE IS SOOOO COPYING OFF OF FACEBOOK BY USING ITS COLORS!!!" But I honestly don't freakin care. Myspace (in its popular years) represented Blue and White, and those are the colors I wished Myspace still used today.

Looking a bit intimidated in front of the camera
If I looked nervous on camera, I apologize because I'm not used to vlogging. Having to read off a hand writen script on my iPod Touch, getting every sentence remembered in my mind, looking straight at the camera, making sure the camera looks straightened, making sure I'm not out of frame, etc. I just wanted to get the best shots I could with the time I had and I feel satisfied for the most part after watching the finished product. I wouldn't call it perfect but just good enough for me.

Spelling the word Myspace as MySpace
I just want to note that my biggest pet peeve of all time is seeing the word Myspace spelled as MySpace. Look guys, I spelled it correctly 50 times down below. Can you all spell it correctly just once?  Please spell the word Myspace with ONE Capitol Letter (the letter M not S) or you should get an all expenses paid trip back to Elementary School and get taught Grammar for 10 months straight!
Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace
Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace
Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace
Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace
Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace Myspace





 






Getting Annoyed when a TV promotion promotes their Facebook account or being told to log into a website with your Facebook credentials.
Another Pet Peeve of mine is hearing or seeing the words "Like Us/Like Me/Find Us/Connect With Us, etc. "on Facebook". I want to be a living, breathing example to people and show the world that Facebook is neither a necessity nor an essential to the human race. If you're not on Myspace, I hope that's your choice and not something you were influenced to think. But For The Love Of All Things Right, PLEASE do not be under the assumption that you HAVE to be on Facebook to interact with anything that is anything. Just. Say. No. I'm a Myspace guy and if you or your brand/company isn't on Myspace, you're gonna have a real hard time trying to appeal to me. No matter how interesting you want to seem to be.

My overall dislike for Facebook
I don't hate Facebook because of a Privacy Policy or because the people who use it get really annoying. I've just got a strong dislike for the entire brand in general because of the unfortunate fact that it overtook Myspace in popularity. I get aggravated when everything that I would enjoy watching, listening, doing or interacting with, always leads to being associated with it. I'm just a Myspace user who wants to get more out of his Myspace account than just "the world's largest digital music library", constant over-promotion of independent music artists and graphic designers, and some Entertainment News here and there. I want promotions from well known big name brands, I want activities to keep me interested every day, I want businesses and brands to liven up Myspace with their endorsements and exclusive features and so on, and so on.

Not wanting people to LOOK at Myspace and automatically assume you can't get your Social Networking Fix because its "too musical"
Myspace will always be a Social Network to me. In 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, and 2012, it was a Social Network and in 2013 and the years forward, it will always be MY Social Network (even on the New Myspace). I get that the Vanderhooks want to integrate Music and Music promotion as much as possible, and I've got absolutely no problem with that (I understand that people need a place to showcase their stuff). But everyday I use Myspace, my first thought of it will always be that its a Social Network and so does millions of others. I will always find a way to interact with my friends and family and all the people I care about the most on the New Myspace website, and that's what's I will generally be doing. Myspace has Entertainment news, its got Music, its got Designers, but it will always be My General Social Network. Remember what I said in the video above:
"If I can get around a website that wants to be the opposite of what I see it as, then why can't you?"

The T-Shirt I Wore
You can't purchase it now, but this is where I bought mine. - http://teespring.com/bmwlifemorals
BMW = Boy Meets World
"Life's Tough Get A Helmet" - a quote first said by Eric Matthews.
Teespring is a website where you can campaign your brand on a T-Shirt and if a certain number of people reserve it, it will get printed and shipped to your house. The T-Shirt is not an officially licensed piece of Boy Meets World merchandise, but its fan-made so that's why I think its acceptable. Why did I wear it? I just wanted to wear a T-Shirt that made a statement even though it had absolutely nothing to do with Myspace. Boy Meets World is a re-running sitcom that's still popular with fans nowadays and I want Myspace to be a leader in internet popularity as well. Contact @BMW_LifeMorals on Twitter and ask for some more t-shirts. (preferably a graphic t-shirt with Eric Matthews on it since he's my favorite character).

Making this production was like cramming for a final exam in College... for 4 months.
 I nearly did everything the last minute. This was a four-month process. August was "Brainstorming Month", September was "Write A Script Month", October was "Start Recording The Video Month" and November was "Edit and Upload The Video Month (even though I uploaded it on December 25th). Although, my computer had issues rendering (saving) the video. The video was in full 1080p HD quality yet my old computer could barely load a 480p video on YouTube. I basically had to start all over again during the third month, by lowering the video quality setting on my camera to 720p and re-recording every single video clip. So this was a long and stressful process but I'm glad it all worked out in the end.

Was It Scripted?
If by scripted you mean I wrote out and read everything I said because I suck at memorizing dialogue and not scripted as in this being a completely fake video, then yes it was scripted. If you didn't notice already, I was reading off of a script since I don't really have the mind tendency to just look at a camera and talk without reading off of something. I wrote the entire script on my laptop and e-mailed it to myself, then opened my e-mail client on my iPod Touch and copy and pasted it to the notepad. I read it off of there while filming. You might be able to tell that I added a few ad-libs to the video.

The picture in the background
Its a picture of me from pre-school, lets move past that already.

Watching The Video One Last Time Before Uploading It
It was a bit nervewrecking for me to watch this video before uploading it online. Like I said previously, I was a bit intimidated in front of the camera, but I was more intimidated while I was editing the video and looking back at the minor flaws and occurances in it that hopefully will not be focused on more than the message I'm trying to spread. I really enjoy being a "behind the camera guy" over being in front because then I would have no reason to feel nervous. But at the end of the day, I've posted 5 other videos on YouTube that featured me talking in front of a camera, and I'm currently not nervous of what people might think after seeing those vids. So it'll take some time, but I'll get over this one as well.

Final Thoughts
Enjoy that video, be entertained, feel responsible, laugh, cry, get emotionally charged, tell someone you know and make this thing viral. Not just the video but this blog as well.  All I've got to say is that I'm not planning a sequel to this video unless it becomes really, really necessary. I have absolutely no idea what my 3 Year Anniversary video will feature. That all depends on how the year 2013 treats me. In 2011, I got an exclusive video response from Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, on a question I sent him. So my 1 year anniversary was focused on that. 2012 had nothing to offer me, so I decided to talk about my love of Myspace and disdain for Facebook which is a subject I've wanted to bring up for some years now. If things go my way this year (2013), then Tuesday November 19th, 2013 will feature more of a year in review type of video. And if not, then I'll talk about some random topic for some random amount of minutes. I just need to find the right one and get everything straightened out to prepare it.

Merry Christmas to everyone on Planet Earth celebrating it, Happy 2 Years of being on YouTube and on Twitter to myself (joined Twitter on November 19th, 2010), and I'll always be hoping that 2013 or any year after that, will be the year Mr. FreshleMania becomes a household name among the billions.
- Ray "Mr. FreshleMania" Maldonado
p.s. if you have any additional questions, then log in to your (New) Myspace Account and "don't be afraid to post a comment on my profile" (that's a classic myspace saying).

and yes, there were a few moments in the video where my lips needed some moisturizing, but lets blame the cold weather conditions on that one.